![]() What do you call someone who can’t stop thinking about past Christmases? Santa-mental! ![]() How do the elves clean Santa’s sleigh on the day after Christmas? They use Santa-tizer! Why do you think they call him Saint Nick? Santa’s beard is so long because he’s bad at shaving. If you’re lucky this Christmas, Santa Claus will grace you with his presents.ĭid you hear about the mall Santa who lost his job? He was fired for Claus! What do you call a reindeer ghost? Cari-boo! How did Rudolph survive his first trip with Santa? He held on for dear life!ĭid you hear that reindeer like to gather in large groups? Yeah, I heard! Obviously, I got a second sled.” (Steven Moffat)Įlves are always defending the shape of their ears. Just one Santa delivery team? How could there be? There are 526,403,012 children, all expecting presents before tomorrow morning. Some might say we’re not very bright, either. Whoever said “All is Calm” has never been to our house around Christmas. Sure, being on the Nice list gets you more presents, but being Naughty is its own reward. What’s the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs! Why did Santa quit smoking? Because it was bad for his elf. May you be surrounded by ho’s this Christmas season. What do you call a kid who won’t sit on Santa’s lap? Claustrophobic! May your nuts remain untracked this holiday season. What does Santa call his little helpers? Subordinate clauses! God bless us, everyone! (Excluding assholes, of course.) Top 150 Greatest Leadership Quotes And Sayings.17 Motivational Quotes that will Energize You.Top 10 Save Money Quotes that will help you to control your expenditures.27 Inspirational Quotes on HIV AIDS Awareness.80 Amazing Saving Money Quotes and Sayings.May tonight be the darkest, scariest night of the year! There is nothing that gives more assurance than a mask. May you have a hair-raising experience, chills and thrills on Halloween! True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about but few have seen. Hope you have as much fun today as the spiders and bats living in your house. Have a horrifying, magical, blood-curdling and candy-filled bag Halloween!Īcting is like a Halloween mask that you put on. Ghosts, like ladies, never speak till spoke to. Wishing you an eerie, spooky, hair-raising, spell-binding Halloween! Spooky, Creepy and Scary Halloween Sayings. I got a feeling that tonight’s gonna be a boo night. ![]() May you shake, rattle, and roll this Halloween! Halloween is the only day you can take candy from strangers. When Halloween is here the monsters appear and the candies disappear. I am the ghost boo-ster! Happy Halloween! Where there is no imagination there is no horror. If a man harbors any sort of fear, it makes him landlord to a ghost. May you be the sweetest ghoul on Halloween! Happy Halloween!įorget love - I’d rather fall in chocolate! Thanks, Twilight.Īnd God said “Let there be candy,” and there was candy. With the recent vampire craze, it’s no longer cool to dress like one for Halloween. Trick or treat, bags of sweets, ghosts are walking down the street. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the Halloween party? You are scary beautiful! Enjoy your Halloween! Why do demons and ghouls always hang out together? This letter is sealed with a vampire kiss and bite. If you have no time to buy a costume, go to your Halloween party in a suit, and say you’re a hit man. Halloween is the one time of year where grown women can dress like hookers and no one will care. Know why mummies never reveal their true age? How can you tell if a vampire has a cold? I’d have to be a ghoul not to appreciate you. Know how Frankenstein likes his potatoes? ![]() I am guilty of eating candy in cold blood. Look, there’s no metaphysics on earth like chocolates.įree flying lessons, BYOB. Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night. Life with you is just getting boo-tter and better. Roses are red, violets are blue, I’m out of candy, look how scary are you.
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